When people tell me that they want to come train in our little dojo, I always ask them why. If they say that they are afraid of getting hurt in an assault, I ask them if it is really about the physical harm or about the disempowerment. And the reason it matters is that if you mostly care about the pain and physical harm then you should either look for a different solution to conflict and danger or just take your chances — because I can guarantee that you’re going to get hurt in the dojo. Yeah, in the dojo, when you tap your opponent stops choking you. That’s a courtesy the streets don’t always offer. But we’re going to punch you, and throw you, and hit you with sticks, and choke you out a thousand times. Your mugger might just take your wallet and leave. It’s a crap shoot. The way it generally breaks down is that if your primary concern is about physical pain and injury, then you’re best served by not learning to fight. Because, if you put in the time to be really skilled, you’ll be in some amount of pain and discomfort, maybe for the rest of your life. My goal isn’t to avoid pain, so it works for me.

The following sub-chapters cover three of the most common mistaken approaches to self-defense. By looking at the details of why these notions don’t make sense and don’t work we get a pretty clear idea of what contributes to effective approaches to self-defense. There’s a proverb in our school, though, and I think that this is a sensible place to include it:

“There is no amount of training that can prepare you for someone else’s lucky day.” — Kurai Kotori proverb

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